I am a Mall Santa, which has some perks to it that you wouldn’t believe. Okay, so I will keep everything nice and PG rated here, although I have to tell you there is a wicked side to the life of a local Mall Santa. I am not very seasoned in years, just so you know. I am only 40, which makes me the youngest Saint Nick in this region. Once I dye my beard white and put on the outfit I look perfect, but normally my full beard is a light brown. Anyway, I get a lot of dates from single moms who want to take a romp with Kris Kringle. This is great, especially when there is drinking or cannabis involved. Some nights I go to my condo alone from the shopping mall, but many times I smoke some medical cannabis in my car as I drive to some single mom’s house. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am a sizable fan of smoking medical marijuana. In general I do not mess with real drugs, because it would impact the quality of my work, although I usually smoke medical cannabis several times a afternoon. Whenever Santa Claus is “on a candy break” from the shopping mall SantaLand, he can be found in the parking area smoking medical cannabis, then for those long stretches of work when there is a long line of screaming kids I will switch over the cannabis gummies so that I don’t accidentally sober up for a single minute. I like kids well enough, but without a little medical marijuana I like them a whole lot less. For this Santa Claus to be glad, he needs medical cannabis.